your Girlfriend cheating you?

Cheating has plagued love lives for generations. Sometimes, one never finds out about an affair a girlfriend has had. However, there are certain signs which might give one a clue as to whether (and exactly to what limit) the girlfriend is cheating.

The first sign of infidelity by a girlfriend in a relationship is her general disinterest in anything that the two enjoyed doing together previously. Sometimes this disinterest is blatant. For example, if a couple watches a movie together, and afterward she can’t remember anything about the movie, then she might be deeply distracted by something. This disinterest then might graduate into a series of unexplained cancellations of
plans.



Another sign of infidelity is an inexplicable display of guilt. One way in which guilt manifests itself is avoidance of the person who the guilty party feels is being hurt by her actions. The cheating girlfriend is therefore prone to generally avoiding the injured party – either by not taking calls or by not meeting for that ride or walk the couple used to like so much. Guilt can also cause pre-existing levels of intimacy to plummet.

Of course, there are countless other signs of a new lover: a sudden increase in her monthly expenses and car mileage; a splurge on cosmetics and clothes; a chronically non-reachable cell phone; an increase in overtime at her job without the accompanying increase in her paycheck, and so on. Also, if you notice a sudden increase in the number of her distant cousins, friends, ex-classmates, college friends, and so on, beware: she might be cheating.

Girlfriends having an affair have to be extremely well organized; their schedules are therefore punctiliously maintained. An affair is just an extension of a girl’s daily life: she has to find time for the accomplice between family, work, social life, and the injured party. Keeping a big secret is a very tiresome job, and only the coolest, most calculating people can actually keep such a secret. If your girlfriend is not very resourceful and she is keeping a secret, she will probably falter somewhere and maybe blurt it out to you herself.

Successful Living

Everybody wants to succeed in life.  Success is not defined by the goal you seek but by whether you reach it to your satisfaction.  Success is subject oriented.  Your definition of success will depend on your personality, what you need to overcome, and what you need to learn and understand.

Effort is an essential factor for success.  Follow disciplined life to achieve success.  First step to success is applying the power of thought.  Think and talk about success always.  Be motivated and take firm decisions.  If you have an obstacle, solve it immediately.

Time management is another important factor responsible for the achievement of success. Apply proper methodology to materialize goals.

Fear leads to procrastination in turn leading to failure.  Control your mind to control your fears.  Deep breathing is the most effective way of dealing with fear.  If you have the fear of failure, take a deep breath, visualize your goals and move ahead.  Ambition is the ultimate required tool for success.  Ambition is desire.

You Should Know About Men

Ah the male species. Some things about them will always be hard to fathom -- like how they may be well-versed in every part of a car engine, but they're stumped when it comes to operating the washing machine. Or how they always choke on the words "I love you." But most of the time, men are actually pretty simple to 'get'.

Eris Huemer is a relationship and family counselor and coach. She and her husband, Clayton Winans, are about to release their newest book, The Man-ip-ulator™ vs. The Wo-man-izer™: Everything you need to know to get the relationship you want. This power couple dishes out ten universal things you need to know about what make men tick.

1. Men have needs just like you do

Women are often considered the needier sex, but guys are have their emotional needs, too, according to Huemer and Winas. They may not readily admit it, but "men need respect, praise, interest in what they do, support, encouragement, collaboration, understanding, love, time alone, etc., etc."

2. Men need respect

Find a woman who disrepects her guy, and you'll find a man who's halfway out the door. "A man is going to find respect somewhere," say Huemer and Winas. "If she doesn't give it to him, then he is going to find it someplace else."

3. Men need praise

What's the best way to get a man to please you, whether around the house or in bed? Give his self-esteem a boost. "Men constantly need to be reminded about how great they are," say Huemer and Winas. "If you ask him to do the dishes and he doesn't do them perfectly then appreciate the fact that he actually did them, even if it is not to your exact specifications. Nagging him about how inefficient he is and how you would have done a much better job is not in your best interest."

4. Men need you to be interested in what they do

Men want to be around women who care about what they love (his job, his hobby, whatever). "You don't have to live and breathe his interests," say Huemer and Winas, "but you should understand them enough to comment." For instance, ask about his day at the office when he gets home, show your excitement for his achievements at work. If he's had a stressful day, hear him out -- you don't even have to give advice. Most of the time, he just needs a listening ear.

5. Men need support and encouragement

"If you support him, he will support you," say Huemer and Winas. When he asks you do help, do the things you can to support him. "If you encourage him with his goals and dreams, he will be a better man for it."

Good way to make Hot Sex Tonight

Are you tired of all the preparatory work that you often need to go through to get a woman turned on enough to want to have sex with you? Unfortunately, some women require a little extra effort to get them turned on for sex.

If you are desperate to have sex with a woman you are infatuated with, but she is slow to respond to your advances, then there are some easy techniques you can use to get her primed and ready to fire up.

If we are dealing with a woman afflicted with frigidity or some other deep-seated psychological issues, then perhaps she needs some professional help to get her sex drive back in order. However, if she is a relatively normal woman but playing hard to get, here are three great tips to get the action going quicker.

1. Wining and Dining

Women these days are more and more getting into fine foods. And a lot of these have what is known as "aphrodisiac" properties. In other words, the content of the foods have elements in them that are thought to increase a person's desire for sex. These work on men and women to varying degrees, and for different reasons. Some foods actually stimulate the flow of blood to the genital areas, increase sperm count etc. Others are visually exciting for women (bananas and phallic shaped foods). Some of the better known ones are oysters, mangoes, avocados, chocolate and honey.

Also, if food is consumed with the fingers rather than with knives and forks, this also adds an element of sensuality to the dining experience. And, finally, make sure she has a few glasses of red or white wine, as both of these alcoholic drinks are charged with desire-inducing chemicals. Just be sure not to go overboard with the alcohol.

2. Creams and ointments

Most sex shops - offline and online - sell a range of oils and creams containing small amounts of menthol, eucalyptus and/or other compounds that rub directly into the clitoris to stimulate blood flow around the genital area. These sometimes create a tingly effect and also increase the amount of natural lubrication in a woman's vagina. All of these things are certainly going to make her more inclined to rip your clothes off and jump on you for a bumpy ride. You can also try rubbing it on your penis to show her that there is nothing to worry about.

3. Back rubs

There is a t-shirt that pregnant women can wear that has written on the tummy area "All Mommy Wanted Was a Back Rub". Women love massages, back rubs and all sorts of gentle physical stimulation that will eventually lead to sex. For guys, it's usually about ejaculating within a certain time frame - not too soon to be "premature", and not too long because they want to get off. But for women, sex is often a complete "experience", and something not to be hurried, but to be savored. Therefore, it is a great idea for guys to get a little experience in massaging their women, because this relaxes them and puts them in a great frame of mind for some mind-blowing sex as your reward.

Before you start your massage, make sure you have set the mood with a darkened room, and perhaps some scented candles, incense or oils burning to get her sense of smell activated. Remember, if you can make this a whole body experience, she will absolutely love you for it.

Gently knead the lower parts of her back and work your way up her spine, giving special attention to the shoulders and the back of her neck. It is also a great idea to listen to her cues - most women will tell you exactly which of her body parts need the most attention.

Best Ways To Make You Look More Sexy

Every woman is greedy - they want to be more and more and more sexy and they are never satisfied. Being sexy is not only a status, but also an attitude towards your life. Are you ready for some spicy, sexy and juicy relationship tips? Here we go.
1. Low pitch is the key note
When you are in bed or you want to make this night a crazy one, just talk with him in a pitch that is a little lower than the one you usually have. Talk to him from his back and mix some breath with your voice, just like you start to be turned on by him.
2. High heels are always the heroines
High heels make you stand straight and the figure of your butt and boom in a sexier shape. When women are wearing high heels, they unconsciously walk slower and each step is smaller.
3. Body lotion is a good helper
I think the best chance to seduce a man is the time when you are applying body lotion. The right way is: when you are wearing a silk pajama, sitting on your bed and make sure your pajama is not very long, for your legs could be seen. Apply some lotion in your hand and slowly put them on your leg from the bottom to the top until you reach the end of your thigh. Usually men are definitely turned on at this time, and some massage is more helpful!
4. Wear sexy lingerie under your most common T-shirt and jeans
This is simple and you don't need any guidance, I think. The only thing you have to do is to put on your weapon and wait for him to discover your hot secret! Imagine how surprised he will be when he sees your sexy lingerie hiding under your most common clothes!
5. Sex toys? They make big deals!
Buy your favorite sex toy - it could be fancy, the latest product of your favorite brand. Hide it in your wardrobe and next time you are making love with him, tell him your secret.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6016726

Intimate Positions

Yoga and relationships have a lot in common. Besides the fact that they are both a practice that is enhanced through mindful attention, they also both rely on the same core principles of cultivating and balancing strength and flexibility. Just like daily yoga practice, the asana of relationships is constantly changing and what can appear as weakness one day is a source of strength on the next.

Holding a pose can be a sublime experience of opening and finding more breath and space in your body than you knew you had.  It can also be a chore, where our mind is everywhere but on the block beneath our hands, where instead of opening  we are constricted, we cannot find our breath.  This continuum describes our capacity in our intimate relationships as well. Sometimes our sense of connection triggers libido as if a natural sequence,  while at other times,  we cannot even hold our partner’s gaze let alone open to the journey of intimacy.
Yet approaching your sexuality practice with the same steadfastness and integrity that you bring to your daily mat workouts can bring about surprising and revolutionary shifts in your relationship. There are a million good and legitimate reasons that libido wanes in life. Hormonal shifts associated with life cycle changes, overall sense of well being and even daily life style choices concerning exercise, diet and rest impact our connection to our sexuality.
Making sexuality a vital part of your regular-care hygiene is perhaps the most powerful shift you can make to creating and sustaining a healthy and vital passionate connection to our partners and our selves.  There are many days when I am not “in the mood”  to go through my daily yoga poses. Fortunately I have long ago given up the idea that my mood has anything to do with whether I go through the routine.  Freeing your sexuality from the need to respond to “being in the mood”  allows the same powerful commitment to sexuality.
Luckily in both cases the satisfaction of the practice begets itself.   The more you practice the poses, the more that moving towards the practice has its own payoff. The same goes for cultivating a thriving relationship to your own sexuality and shared intimacy with a partner.  The overall health benefits that accompany a conscious awakening to pleasure is enough to make anyone keep coming back for more.
In fact there might not be a more beautiful synergy of practice than the present moment yogic consciousness of learning to stay and the beauty of being fully present to a lover.    In the same way that we learn to hold a pose and witness the changes that happen in the silence and patience of the moment,  applying this practice to the vulnerability of physical intimacy is transformative and allows for the release and abandon that is the ground from which deep pleasure and orgasm grows.

Wendy Strgar Life is Short, Have an Affair?

Indiscretion is no longer discreet.  Gone are the days of clandestine meetings, sideways glances across an office, illicit gestures in a dark parking lot.  Now you can get those same thrills and more in your email box for only a $49 joining fee. It seems too ridiculous to be true, but this is what we have come to, a multi-million dollar cash cow of a business to make it easy for people to sign up online to meet their perfect affair.
So lucrative is the venture that the corporate slogan: “Life is short–have an affair” has been pasted on billboards and running in television advertising throughout the world. Yet, promoting the most hurtful betrayals that many people will face in their lifetime as the fun, spice of life is not always as easy as it looks. The company has fought unsuccessfully for the right to plaster the slogan on citywide transportation in its hometown of Toronto; even after they offered money to subsidize rider fares. Their offer was vetoed by five of the six members of the transportation committee, but not before the leader was found to have cheated on his longtime partner several times, ruining his run for mayor. Likewise, the NFL turned down an advertising bid during the coveted Super Bowl hours.
This same ambivalence about the rightness of their participation in the site’s offerings, runs through many of the close to 8 million members profiles which uses fake names and hides their photos behind a password protected firewall.  Some are brazen too, including photos on their pages and mostly unafraid to be found out. They feel justified, and few users don’t report any feelings of guilt about their participation. The seekers aren’t leaving their partners, who become entities, mostly reduced to pronouns in the course of their business on the site. Many members refer to themselves as honest, except for what they are engaging in at this moment.
“This is just a fact of life. Monogamy is not in our DNA,” says founder Neil Biederman, although he is married himself and says he would be devastated if he found his wife was employing his service. She has no qualms about the moral ramifications of her husband’s occupation: providing the material and platform for millions of affairs. For her, “It is just a business…” Biederman believes that the popularity of his site and by and large the nature and driving force behind affairs is sex, more specifically about not getting the sex that they want from their partners.
Yet a recent undercover Redbook report, discovered a much deeper and in some ways ironic truth about much of what is being sought out on Ashley Madison. The site, which is to ostensibly facilitate no-strings-attached affairs contains a lot of men who are trying to forge real emotional bonds.  One might even say they were all looking to fall in love.

Make Your Dreams Into Reality

Everyone has a dream – many dreams actually – but do you believe that you can make your dreams into reality? Some people achieve their dreams while others live lives of regret. Some are inspired and follow through, while others delay or give up entirely on their dreams in exchange for whatever excuses they comfort themselves with.

What are the factors that make that difference between the person who achieves and the one who regrets?
Here are three simple steps you can take to help you live the life of your dreams:

1. Motivation. Everyone has their own motivations for their dreams. Consider what motivates you towards your goal. It could be financial freedom, more free time, or a second home in the Caribbean. Whatever it is, remind yourself of it on a daily basis.

For example, having pictures of your dream Caribbean home hung on the fridge or in your work space will remind you of your dream and refresh your mind with motivation.

• When you suffer inevitable setbacks or frustration, a visible reminder of your dream will help motivate you to do what is necessary to get back on track toward your goal.

It is also important to give yourself rewards along the way. Rewarding yourself after making a breakthrough, such as acquiring a new client, learning a new computer program, or sharing a smile with your teenager, is absolutely necessary to effectively following through on your path to success.
Treat yourself to a nice dinner, take the day off for a game of golf, or reward yourself with something else you like. Your reward will give you a refreshing break from the trials and tribulations on your path to success and bring you new energy to continue working toward your goal.
Giving yourself a reward here and there along the way will reinvigorate your motivation with its positive result.

2. Planning. Although developing a systematic plan may seem obvious if you want to make your dreams into reality, many people overlook or downplay this process and then wonder why they aren’t moving forward toward their goal. Be sure to take the time to plan your path for greater success!

• Once you have a broad plan to reaching your goal, you must fine-tune all the details. Put it down on paper, even if it’s an emotional or psychological life goal, and determine the steps necessary to make that goal a reality.

• Put a time frame on it. Put all excuses aside with a finite deadline for each step.

• Be realistic of your own competencies.

Creating a realistic step-by-step plan with a deadline will bring your dream to life. Setting definable little goals to achieve on the way to your desired large goal will enable you to follow your plan through to success.

3. Action. Lastly, no dream or goal can be achieved without action. If you’ve developed your plan as recommended, you will see that there are a number of little steps you must take on a daily or intermittent basis that will further you on your path to your ultimate goal.

• Your little steps give you the map to your treasure. Take action to follow your map. Each step you complete brings you closer to your goal.

• Evaluate your actions and revise your map as necessary. If a plan falls through, then be adaptable to change it until you find yourself back on the path to success.

Motivation, planning and action will enable you to create and live the life you’ve always wanted. It may take some time, but following these steps will guide and help you to make your dreams into reality.

Do Long Distance Relationships really Work?

Again, long distance relationships are NOT IMPOSSIBLE, they are NOT UNWORKABLE, and they DO WORK.  However, as have been pointed out, it’s not for everyone either.  It’s not an easy relationship to be in, and most couples who are into long distance relationships face a really big challenge not only from being apart, but also from the “in-betweens” of the relationship distance.

If one chooses to be in a long distance relationship then be “really” in it; don’t give it just one fourth or one half of you, give it your whole heart and mind.  Do it for the right reasons and stand your ground.  Be ready to make sacrifices, as it will be needed.  Never be discouraged with what people say and people think about your relationship. Know by heart that more than anybody else; it is you who discern and feel the happiness, the importance, and the true meaning of what you have.
Be emotionally ready with a lot of things to come.  Like any relationship, long distance relationships will have its ups and downs, it will have its sunshine and rain, it will have its good days and bad days, but with the right amount of affection, effort, and attention in both sides, it can and it will survive any obstacles that it will be challenged with.
As long as the both of you remember that most important “reason” on why you chose to do this long distance relationship in the first place, combined with constantly letting each other know about your personal life, keeping in touch, seeing each other whenever the opportunity allows, and trusting and being honest with each other at all times, then your long distance relationship can be one of the most happy and triumphant relationships that can ever exist.  It doesn’t matter whether near or far, the both of you will be satisfied, contented, and secured until that day of “re-uniting-for-good” comes.
Finally, always bear in mind that in relationships, even with those who have the conventional “seeing-each-other-everyday” relationship, does not guarantee success either; it’s always a matter of how the both of you take care and handle your relationship.  It’s all about what you’re willing to give and what you’re ready to accept.  With this in mind, you will know that distance is just distance, and if you look at a map, even two separate poles can be beside each other when you fold-in what’s in between them.

How to Survive long distance relationships?

You don’t choose who to love and who not to love, it’s always about finally finding that one person you hope to share your life with, care for, and have that growing love through the years. When you find that person, distance won’t really matter. Geographically speaking, distance is just the difference between oceans and mountains, roads and bridges, kilometers and miles, but can always be crossed, traveled, and reached.

Even today’s advance technologies have blessed long distance relationships with the means of bridging distance gaps through easy and practical ways of communications such as emails, internet chats, pc video cams, and more.  Although nothing can replace the person actually being there, these technologies make long distance relationships a little easier to bear, scraping off some of the relationship pressures, as well as giving the opportunity for constant communication.
So how does one survive long distance relationships?  Apart from unvarying communication and the fact that you truly love each other, two important words will make up a big part of your relationship, TRUST and HONESTY.  These two words are the key foundations to fruitful long distance relationship, without which the relationship is bound to be doomed.  Take one from the other and the relationship will go crumbling down.  Besides these given facts, there are certain things that one can do to cope with long distance relationships:
Share as much with each other as possible.
Keeping each other up to date with events that happen or new friendships with people in your personal life is an excellent way to keep the relationship healthy and alive.  Remember, long distance relationships do not mean no longer sharing things that your partner can’t see or literally know about, or things that you would deem unimportant to him.  This in fact are the things that will make you feel both secured and satisfied.
Give importance to how many times in a week you stay in touch, having a stronger and loving bond in long distance relationships, entails hearing from one another frequently, living no room for that “little green monster” of doubt and jealousy to begin a spark of paranoia about anything.
Agree and lay down a set of expectations and rules.
Knowing how much commitment the both of you is willing to put into the relationship, as well as the amount of loyalty one would be ready to give and receive, is very important. Making it understandable that none of you will be dating other people as long as the romantic relationship exists clears the air of doubt, concern, and worries. Being apart is hard enough to let future mistakes and misunderstandings get the better of your relationship.
Never feel scared of telling you partner your needs and wants; you ought to have the opportunity of speaking from your heart, in the same way that your partner deserves to know the truth and decide if they can provide it.
Have a light at the end of the tunnel.
With all long distance relationships, knowing when all the waiting will end and both of you would be together for good, will balance the frustration of being apart.  It is always good to talk about and agree on who is going to relocate and when, as this takes the pressure off the subject and puts some sort of deadline for the “long-term togetherness”.
After all, not being able to envision when everything will be normal for the both of you, is like not being able to see success in your relationship.  It’s like believing in something yet knowing it’s not there, so the best way is to set an aim to when the entire wait comes to a close and the “together-forever” begins.  Then, most importantly, work together for the realization of that aim.

Should one keep or continue a Long Distance Relationship?

The answer to this question all depends on how happy and how strongly the long distance relationship means to you.  Relationships are meant to keep both people justly happy even in certain turn of events that may sometimes have the influence to decide the couples’ fate.

These “turn of events” may be in the form of the man being assigned across the country because of promotion and the woman is doing fine in her own career or vise versa, or young lovers about to end up in different colleges in separate  states, cities, or continents.  Soon the question of should we or should we not keep a long distance relationship becomes an unavoidable subject that seriously needs an answer.
There are three possible options for the situation: first, the couple can continue remaining faithful to each other; second, they can decide to see other people and observe what happens; or third, they can go their separate ways and call it “quits”.  Whatever the option the couple chooses, the most important thing to remember is ‘what will work best for both and not just one’. Again, talking about it and airing out each others side becomes the best way to clear things up and find solutions. Learn by heart that real affection for one another will always decide the relationship’s fate.
So finally, it all comes down once again to the BIG question “do long distance relationships really work?”
Keep the romance alive
It may not be possible for the both of you to physically be romantic towards each other, but the both of you can still do romantic acts for each other that will maintain happiness in the romance department. This can be done through sending love poems and letters, or having gifts and flowers delivered, or even sending a self-video with a message of love.  This will help remind how much the both of you think about and love one another, which can attain more sparks and excitement of seeing each other again.

How to find Your Perfect Partner

Is there really such a thing as a perfect partner? Probably not as we are none of us perfect, however you can find a wonderful relationship based on your quest for a perfect partner. One of the criteria we judge a perfect partnership on is by example.
You may have noticed a very loving couple like your grand parents. They love each other so much but still quarrel and tease each other. How do they stay together for so long and still love each other despite little arguments and quirky habits? The answer to this is the basis of our quest for a perfect partnership.
A perfect partnership is not always smooth. You will always have small arguments and flare ups, but the difference is that in a perfect partnership you will always make up and never stop loving each other.

How to find your perfect partner:

To find your perfect partner you will need to know a few things. These points will help you in your quest:
1. Know what you want: It is important to know what you want and not be too idealistic. When you have a clear picture you will find it easier to make a choice and find your perfect partner.
2. Be prepared to tolerate and compromise: compromise is very important in a perfect relationship. Always try to find someone who is flexible and able to do this.
3. Understand that we are all human and even a perfect partner will not be really perfect
4. Perhaps your relationship will be better if your partner is not completely perfect? To err is human and it will make you feel better not to have a perfect partner who is never meant to do anything wrong.
5. Be open to love and allow yourself to be loved-this will bind you together. Do not hold back when it comes to love. Do not be afraid to tell your partner “I love you.”
6. Cultivate understanding and trust and try to find someone who is also prepared to do this. Understanding and trust are very important in a good relationship.
7. The old cliché “do as you would be done by” holds true in your quest for a perfect relationship. Just think of how you would like to be treated and treat your partner the same way.
In some ways it was easier in the olden times as many marriages were arranged. Parents tried with the greatest diligence to choose a perfect match for their child. Sometimes they were successful and sometimes not.
In modern times we are usually in control of our destiny and the choice is up to us. Try to choose a partner who will be able to truly understand you and accept you for the person you are. Remember the perfect partnership is a two way street and you will also need to be able to tolerate and sacrifice for your partner as well, in order to make this relationship work.
The perfect relationship is not about material wealth and expensive gifts it is about simply loving your partner and expecting the same in return. In this way you will come closer to finding and choosing your perfect partner.

Express Your Love Over A Candle Lit Dinner!

This morning, before my husband left to work , he came close to me and whispered something into my ear. Those three words, sent a shiver down my spine and I ran cold. It was not words of fear that made me feel this way, for he can never do that to me. The exact words he uttered to me was that he loves me.

The emotion I am feeling right now is inexplicable as I am excited as well as so happy to be married to the man of my dreams. I feel so lucky that I am blessed with true love and to honor it, I want to surprise him out to express my love in a different way and thus I planned out a romantic candle lit dinner tonight.

At first I pondered as to what to do and how to let him be the center of attraction for the evening and thus I came up with the perfect plan. If you are planning a candle lit dinner tonight for your loved one to express your love, here is what you should do.

1.Set a spot or select a diner where there will be no other distractions for the evening. There are a lot of places in Bangalore which provide you this opportunity to spend time alone with your partner. For a candle lit dinner, make your reservations in advance in famous hotels at the Ivy -Unwind Island for couples in Marthahalli, Kyra Restaurant in Indiranagar and the most famous one is the 13th Floor on MG Road.

2.Other options for a candle lit dinner for you and your loved one can be arranged in a garden if you possess one at home. Set up a table for two and drop rose petals around the table so that it gives you that sensational sweet smell. You can also sprinkle a few drops of essential oil in the garden to entice him.

3.Another idea for a romantic candle lit dinner is to cook for him his favorite meal. If you ain't a good cook , order from his favorite restaurant and pop out that special wine for the evening.

4.You can express your love for him by also organizing a small band for the two of you. Though it will be a distraction, it will surely give you that romantic atmosphere he will definitely keep in mind forever.

5.After you tie the knot, there are occasions when you don't get to spend time with your spouse thus leading to a lot of marriage problems, This romantic candle lit dinner might change everything. Plan in advance and set dates accordingly to his and your schedule, but make sure not to blurt out what you have in mind for him, to express your love.

As his lady and adorable wife, set this evening on fire by spending time with him.

25 tips for relationship success

What's the key to successful relationships? Here, Susan Quilliam reveals the simple things you need to know to deepen your partnership and make your relationship work

1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.

3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.

4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.

6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.

7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.

8.Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.

9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.

10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.

11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget. You could also read Stop Fighting About Money by Corinne Sweet (Hodder & Stoughton,£6.99)

12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.

13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.

14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.

15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.

16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.

17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.

18. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you. For extra help, read my book, Stop Arguing Start Talking (Vermilion, £6.99).

19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.

20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher (Arrow, £8.99).

21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.

22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.

23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.

24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.

25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one. Contact Relate on 0845 456 1310 for more information.