Haven't seen you in a while. How have you been? You look great! Are those new highlights? They look really good on you.
I've been good. Super busy, actually. Seeing sights, snapping photos, butchering languages, that sort of thing. You know me!
Why, yes, I have lost a bit of weight, actually. Thank you for noticing!
Why haven't I blogged? Well, I've been meaning to, it's just that ... I've been really busy, and it's hard to find a good internet connection in these hostels, and ... well, you know how it is.
Besides, it's not as if you've been posting comments every day, is it?! For all I know, you've found some fancy new blog with a nice car and a condo you've been commenting on! You probably even have a link to it on Facebook, don't you?
You're right, I'm sorry. That was out of line. Here, I brought you a flower. It's from Spain!
You don't have to carry it around all day if you don't want to.Not romantic enough for you? How about some human skulls arranged in the shape of a heart?
I haven't forgotten you. I think about you every day, reader. In fact, you'll be happy to know that I've been consumed by guilt for neglecting you as long as I have. Why my suffering brings you joy, I'll never know.
But I'm still having fun, don't worry. In fact, I've got some crazy stories to share, if you still want to hear them. Tales of whimsy and wonder, of excitement and danger, of loves won and lost, of smashed TVs, of French karaoke, of lesbians dancing on bars. Oh, the tales I have to tell.
Look, here's the deal. It's tough blogging on the road. Especially when every new city has a dozen old churches and castles to see. But I'm going to try harder.
So keep your eyes here and I'll do my best to get a post or two up every few days.
Thanks for taking me back, baby! You won't regret it!
Forever yours,
J
P.S. You may have noticed in the past that blog posts have been dated to correspond with the day on which the related events actually transpired, not the day on which they were posted. This has caused endless confusion, usually in the form of "You haven't updated your blog in like a month! WTF?"
No more. From now on, posts will be dated with the day they are posted. I know this seems absurdly complicated, so if you get confused, just send me an email and I'll be happy to belittle you with lots of swear words until you act right.
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