Random Zombie Apocalypse

Hmm, so people really are taking this whole May 21st thing seriously?...



I mean, that's gotta be why a government organization like the CDC would be focusing on impending zombie attacks, right??!?

(from foxnews) <-- Didn't intentionally go here

CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse'

Are you prepared for the impending zombie invasion? That's the question posed by the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention in a Monday blog posting gruesomely titled, "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse." And while it's no joke, CDC officials say it's all about emergency preparation. "There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for," the posting reads. "Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That's right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency." The post, written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, instructs readers how to prepare for "flesh-eating zombies" much like how they appeared in Hollywood hits like "Night of the Living Dead" and video games like Resident Evil. Perhaps surprisingly, the same steps you'd take in preparation for an onslaught of ravenous monsters are similar to those suggested in advance of a hurricane or pandemic. READ MORE

Spotted @ Drudge

Random Jedi Down

At least the internet has a sense of humor about this whole thing...



(from GalacticEmpireTimes.com)
Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says
CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday. In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader's own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock. The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered in the Senate District and outside the Imperial Palace, waving imperial flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, “Hail to the Emperor! Hail Lord Vader!” In the alien protection zone, crowds sang “The Ten Thousand Year Empire.” Throughout the Sah'c district, airspeeder drivers honked horns deep into the night. READ MORE

Thanks to A. Finch for the link!

Random Photo Edit

It's strange enough that they would photoshop Hilary out of this iconic picture...



But why would they ironically replace her with such an elusive and mysterious figure?!



(from Yahoo)
Where’s Hillary? Hasidic paper breaks the rules by editing Clinton out of White House photo
Hillary Clinton's expression, right hand clasped over her mouth in astonishment, is largely responsible for making the above photo iconic--and, to at least one newspaper, sexually suggestive. In the photo, President Obama and his national security team are huddled around a conference table in the White House Situation Room, watching CIA director Leon Panetta narrate last Sunday's raid on Osama bin Laden's compound. The mood is clearly tense. When Women's Wear Daily consulted a coterie of photo editors and designers about why the image is "destined to be one for the history books," Clinton was foremost in their responses. "The Hillary Clinton expression is the one that holds the photograph fully," Time's photo director told the magazine. "You can see 10 years of tension and heartache and anger in Hillary's face," Conde Nast's Scott Dadich agreed. That would be the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic broadsheet Der Tzitung, published in Brooklyn. The paper photoshopped Clinton, as well at the only other woman who could be seen in the room--Audrey Tomason, the national director of counterterrorism--out of the frame. Indeed, "The Hasidic newspaper will not intentionally include any images of women in the paper because it could be considered sexually suggestive," Rabbi Jason Miller explains in The Jewish Week. Though he notes that the publication's "fauxtograpphing" may in fact be a graver act against their religious tenets: "To my mind, this act of censorship is actually a violation of the Jewish legal principle of g'neivat da'at (deceit)." READ MORE

Random Bear Attack

Ever thought "how would I survive a bear attack?"...



(from MotherNatureNetwork)
How to survive a bear attack
Bears don't want to attack people. We kill them far more often than they kill us, and many bears seem well aware of that ratio. When they do attack, it's usually because they were either starved or startled. But despite their hesitance, bear attacks are on the rise in many parts of the world. Yellowstone National Park saw human-bear conflicts spike in 2008 and 2010 — with experts warning 2011 could be even worse — and officials are grappling with similar problems in Japan, Russia and elsewhere. The ursine violence has been linked to a variety of factors, including habitat loss, human intrusion, food shortages and even climate change. Bear behavior is still heavily influenced by biology and upbringing, too: American black bears are relatively docile and skittish, for example, while polar bears are more aggressive and more likely to see people as prey. Yet trying to fully explain any bear attack is a daunting task, and since we can't convey our peaceful intentions to bears, it's generally safer to just stay away. READ MORE

This post may or may not have been an excuse to post that picture.

Random Oscar Bust

Well the Oscars sucked...



but more importantly, my Oscar pool drawings netted me exactly $1. Boo Oscars!

(from HolywoodReporter)
Was it a bad idea to have actors host? No, it was spectacularly bad.
In what could go down as one of the worst Oscar telecasts in history, a bad and risky idea -- letting two actors host -- played out in spectacularly unwatchable fashion on the biggest of all nights for the film world. Despite an overall rewarding of brilliant performances and no truly shocking didn't-see-that-coming upsets, the 83rd Annual Academy Awards will likely be remembered as the night James Franco couldn't act like a host. It was not a great night to be on the Internet if you were one of Franco's trusted advisers, as the likable, quirky actor was torched on Twitter and pimp-slapped across the web for his lifeless performance. He had no business agreeing to host the Oscars, and his resulting pratfall in front of -- what, a billion people? -- must have made David Letterman gleeful, as his stint will no longer be pointed out as some kind of nadir. Anne Hathaway at least tried to sing and dance and preen along to the goings on, but Franco seemed distant, uninterested and content to keep his Cheshire-cat-meets-smug smile on display throughout. READ MORE

Spotted @ Drudge

MEANWHILE in the real world...



The Knicks beat the Heat in dramatic fashion. Can we stop hailing "The King" now?

Random Internet Knowledge Error

I'm still confused...



Thanks to J. McWilliams for the link!

Random 'Soda Pot'

What's next COCAINE COLA?! oh, right...



Seriously though, pot soda doesn't even sound like a good idea.

(from DailyHealthReport)
Medical Marijuana Companies Formulating “Soda Pot” Drinks
With the growing discussions and actual legalization of marijuana for medical usage, certain manufacturers will soon have a new ‘treat’ for those who can legally ingest marijuana. The treat — soda pot — will be sold for more than $10 per unit and will be found in drinks named Orange Kush, Doc Weed, and Canna Cola. These beverages will have THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), the chemical that provides the “high” from smoking marijuana. Manufacturers of these types of drinks claim there are already alternatives on the market but the current drinks contain much higher concentrations of THC. READ MORE

Random 14 Minutes Of Fame

Once a crackhead...



Always a crack head.

Should we be surprised that his creckie tendencies came back to haunt him... OF COURSE NOT!

(from E!News)
Mr. Golden Voice Ted Williams Detained by Cops—Is It All Dr. Phil's Fault?
Someone's voice didn't seem quite so golden last night—at least not to whomever phoned the cops on homeless-man-turned-YouTube-sensation-turned-showbiz-catch-of-the-day Ted Williams. The 53-year-old was picked up by Los Angeles' finest last night when police received a call reporting a disturbance caused by Williams, who at the time was engaged in a decibel-raising argument with his daughter. So what's Dr. Phil McGraw got to do with all this? Well, in addition to making the media rounds, one of the primary reasons Williams is in Los Angeles this week is to appear in a two-part episode of Dr. Phil. In the second episode, airing tomorrow, he is reunited with his estranged wife and five of his nine daughters, whom he walked out on 20 years ago. Sounds like the reunion didn't go as smoothly as Phil might've hoped. At least not once the cameras stopped rolling. READ MORE

Random Marketing Strategy

Can a purple slurpee really bring America together?...



The good folks at 7Eleven are hoping it can at least get a conversation started.

(from USAToday)
Obama's 'Slurpee Summit' joke makes icy drink hot
President Obama has just given Slurpee something it could never buy: global street cred. Hours after the leader of the free world jokingly suggested at Wednesday's day-after-election press conference that he might hold a "Slurpee Summit" with the new Republican leadership, the brand of slushy soft drinks is in overdrive to make the summit real. "This is a rare opportunity for a brand," says Margaret Chabris, a spokeswoman for 7-Eleven, which owns 44-year-old Slurpee. "We don't want to be opportunistic, but nothing has ever been this big for Slurpee." This is what brands dream about. Bud Light got a big PR lift after Obama drank a Bud Light at the White House "Beer Summit" in July 2009. That brought together Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and James Crowley, the police sergeant who arrested him. READ MORE

I guess you gotta strike while the iron is hot... no matter how ridiculous the iron is or what you're striking it with

Spotted @ Newzjunky

Random CBSPhilly

It took blood, sweat and tears...



but, mostly tears to get this site up and running...

I'm proud and the Philadelphia area is overly informed. Everyone be happy

Check it out... CBSPHILLY.com

Random Time Out

I gotta call a time out...



Sorry devoted Random Blog followers (family, friends, etc...) I gotta take a lil break from updating the blog while I continue to catch a solid ass kicking from work!

Random Lists

I used to think making lists was fun...



That was before work dumped like 37 pointless lists on my lap. I feel like everything I do now can easily be cropped neatly into a list, such as...

Things I'd rather be doing right now
Things I wish you could be paid for
Things I should've done in college
Things I should've done in high school
Things I shouldn't have done in high school
Etc..

Got any other lists? COMMENT!

Random American Vs. Mexican

The border war makes it's way to the box office and...



The American wins again!

(from BoxOfficeMojo)
'The American' Out-Draws The Mexican
The summer movie season came to a typically quiet close over the weekend. The American led the way with a standard-issue George Clooney debut, Machete had an average late summer action movie launch, while Going the Distance stalled. Overall business, though, was up five percent from the same timeframe last year. The American earned an estimated $13 million at 2,823 locations for a $16.1 million tally since opening Wednesday. That was much more than recent Labor Day adult thrillers The Constant Gardener and Traitor, though the movie's attendance was mid-pack among assasssin-themed pictures. Most of Geroge Clooney's recent vehicles have opened in the same range as The American, including The Men Who Stare at Goats, Leatherheads, Michael Clayton and Syriana. As quiet as The American may seem, it's on track to having one of the biggest Labor Day openings ever. Distributor Focus Features reported that The American's audience was primarily aged 35 years and older and that there was a near even male/female split. READ MORE

Random Weekly Douche

Jonathan D. Popple, 26, of Wisconsin...



I guess the calming effects of weed don't apply to alien encounters.

(from WiscNews)
Stoned man shoots at 'alien'
A Baraboo man police say shot a hole in his floor after seeing an alien while stoned on marijuana sat jailed Tuesday awaiting the next step in his case. Jonathan D. Popple, 26, appeared in Sauk County Circuit Court on Monday via video conference link from the Sauk County Law Enforcement Center lockup. He was facing felony counts of possession of pot with intent to deliver and possessing a gun while intoxicated stemming from an incident Saturday afternoon, according to court documents. About 2:30 p.m. police were called to a house on Ninth Street after someone reported hearing a gunshot inside, according to the criminal complaint. Officers spoke to Popple, who said he had been smoking pot since getting up that day and was cleaning his gun in his bedroom. He said he initially thought the weapon’s safety was on. READ MORE

Spotted @ Newzjunky

Random Spray Attack

What if everyone sprayed their enemies?...

With RAID!

(from Courant)
Fox CT Reporters Assaulted Outside Court
Two Fox CT journalists were assaulted by the husband of a woman who was at Superior Court on charges that she received stolen beer from Hartford Distributors shooter Omar Thornton, police said. Reporter George Colli and photographer Alan Chaniewski were hit with wasp and hornet spray about 9:45 a.m. Tuesday. Chaniewski was sprayed in the face, then rushed across the road to an Enfield firehouse for first aid. Colli was sprayed in the head and on his clothing. READ MORE

Spotted @ Newzjunky

Random T-Shirt Cover

More brilliance from The Onion...


Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On

(from Wiki)
The Onion is an American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news, in addition to a non-satirical entertainment section known as The A.V. Club. It claims a national print circulation of 690,000 and says 61 percent of its web site readers are between 18 and 44 years old. Since 2007, the organization has been publishing satirical news audios and videos online, as the "Onion News Network." READ MORE

Thanks to K. Coyle for the link!

Random Naked Gaga

And this is why I don't want to have a daughter...



Who can these girls look up to if the most popular female star on the planet is just naked and diving on people?

(from DailyMail)
Lady Gaga wears her most revealing outfit yet... transparent fishnet shorts and T-shirt
She dresses to shock so often that Lady Gaga's outrageous outfits are almost becoming boring. But the singer outdid herself last night - wearing nothing more than shorts and T-shirt made of fishnet stockings. Taking a leaf out of Janet Jackson's book, she preserved her modesty with a simple star as she arrived for the Lollapalooza festival in Chicago. But even Gaga didn't risk a stage performance in the risque ensemble. Instead the Alejandro singer changed into a hard-wearing leather jacket and leopard print pants for her stage show - on top of the fishnet. Gaga is one of the headliners of the annual show, along with Soundgarden and Green Day. READ MORE

PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!

Random Magic School Bus

Ms. Frizzle doesn't have SH*T on this school bus...



Wait... that was incredible!

(from Telegraph)
Motoring enthusiast builds 367mph bus
The yellow American-style school bus has been fitted with a jet engine from a Phantom fighter plane, allowing it to reach up to 367mph. Paul Stender and his team from Indy Boys Inc, based in Indianapolis, USA adapted the bus which uses a full tank of 150 gallons of fuel in just one quarter-mile run. Mr Stender's creation, which he has dubbed 'The School Time Jet-Powered School Bus', also fires out 80 foot flames from the back creating massive clouds of smoke. Mr Stender, 43, said: "I built the bus for two reasons. The first is to entertain people because, come on, it's a jet bus. The second, is to keep kids off drugs. Jets are hot, drugs are not." READ MORE

Random Guido Bells

This makes a lot of sense...

Snooki and Juiced up D (or whatever the hell this guy's name is) get to ring the bell on Wall Street. Where are all of the actual important people?

(from CBS3)
'Jersey Shore' Cast Rings Opening Bell
Forget Black Friday. It was Tan Tuesday. The cast of MTV's "Jersey Shore" skipped the beach for a day to ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange Tuesday, CBS station WCBS-TV reports. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi gave a thumbs up to stock brokers before ringing the bell and waving to the crowd. Fellow cast members Paul DelVecchio and Vinny Guadagnino pumped their fists in the air, and the rest of the group applauded. READ MORE

Random LeBron DUI

This man's 'Decision' is driving people to drink...



Let's hope he never wronged Mel Gibson!

(from BackPorch-FanHouse)
Michigan Man Arrested for Driving Drunk, Blames LeBron James
LeBron James' decision to leave Cavs for the Heat has repercussions beyond the Cleveland city limits, it seems. In fact, a Flint, Michigan man was so troubled by the news that dealt with it like any rational sports-loving adult: he got drunk and drove around Grand Blanc Township.

"Police reported that the man appeared to be intoxicated. When asked if he'd been drinking the man said that he had been drinking, and it was because LeBron James had decided to play for the Miami Heat instead of the Boston Celtics (James had actually turned down an opportunity to play for the Cleveland Cavaliers)." READ MORE

Spotted @ TheBook